I WANT THE CONTROL

On Sunday, the indirect message I was hearing was, God is in Control. “God is gonna put you where he wants you,” said Pastor Steve Weygand as we read from Psalm 66. To emphasize God’s faithfulness, Pastor Steve shared a story about his parents traveling across country with the family to a “new job” that was waiting for his father which, when they arrived at their destination did not exist. With no job and no home to move into what was the family going to do? God was in control and the need was to trust God. God took them exactly where he wanted them to be. “All things work together for good, to them that love God,” wrote the Apostle Paul in Romans 8:28.  God saw and met the family’s need, and all was fine – faith and trust. Pastor Steve went on to share his own story, traveling across country to further his education only to discover that none of his credits were transferable. What was he going to do? Remembering the situation his parents were in Pastor Steve knew God was in control and the need was to have faith and trust God. Pastor Steve was right where God wanted him to be and, all things worked together for good. Pastor Steve shared, “The deliverance of Israel in Psalm 66 led the writer to praise God because of God’s faithfulness, mercy, love and assurance.”  The writer was thankful and praising God knowing God was in control. I needed to hear this message and repeat to myself, “Yes, God you are in control.” My head knew this, my heart knows this, but I struggle with my human nature. I want the control.

            This past Friday evening I loaded up my car to begin the three-hour and a half drive to my Aunt’s place for my Thanksgiving vacation which I do almost every year. I had the timing planned; I’d be at my Aunt’s by 9:00 in the evening; I was in complete control until I started my car, nothing. I had not used my car in the past two weeks and I knew from experience, to wait and try again. In 2019, I had come back from a vacation to find my car would not start and after a few tries, the car started right up. I thought it would this time but try as I could, I realized I needed a battery jump and I called AAA. I called my Aunt to let her know the problem and that I would call once I was on my way again. An hour or so later, AAA got my car started and was told to think about getting a new battery. Question, would I be okay for the next three hours or so driving? I was told, “As long as you do not turn the car off, you should be fine.” That was all I needed to know, back in control until I arrived at my Aunt’s.

Two hours later I saw I would not make it all the way and needed to get gas before running out and getting stuck on the highway. I stopped the car and shut it off thinking to get enough gas to get to my Aunt’s place. You guessed it, the car would not start and it was only for about five minutes.The attendant tried to give my battery a jump but the power of his battery was not strong enough. Here it was going on 10:30 in the evening and I was behind my own schedule, not what I expected nor wanted. I did not want to call my Aunt who might be in bed already so I called my cousin to let him know where I was and what was happening. To put it bluntly, I had no control; I knew nothing about cars and I was powerless, I felt powerless; I want the control.

I called AAA again. The guy arrived after 11:00 in the evening, gave my battery a jump, turned the car off and discovered the car would not start back up. The battery received another jump and he proceeded to run a test on the battery, the alternator, and the starter. Showing me the results he told me the battery was too low in voltage and strongly recommended I buy a new battery. I told him the attendant tried to give me jump earlier and the reply was, newer cars like mine need more power to hold a charge and showed me the attachment along the side of the battery indicating that if charging the battery goes wrong, the attachment would burn out and it would cost me about $5,000 to replace. “I really know nothing about cars,” I told him. “Once I reach my Aunt’s place I will have my cousin help me get a new battery.” An hour or so later I pulled up to my Aunt’s place and as I put the car in reverse to back into the driveway my car shut off and I drifted back in the weeds at the end of the driveway and there the car sat. I could not even shift the car into neutral to move it; the gear shift would not budge and the motor indicator light went on when trying to start the car. I just gave up; I had no control of this situation. I wish I knew more about cars, but I don’t. I want the control.

I do not like it when I do not have control of situations, my human nature says, “I am in charge of my life, my plans, my spending and my appearance.” I do not like feeling helpless nor do I like feeling weak when I know I can do things for myself. It is funny, as a social worker, I find myself telling others not to worry when you do not have control over situations and need help; we all do. I should listen to myself more. After hearing Pastor Steve’s message, I went up to him to thank him, “I needed to hear this,” I told him. I am learning to let go of my need to control each day. Learning to trust God is not as easy since having to depend on me most of my life. Like the leash I hold onto when walking my dog, I want to let go but I still need to hold on to the end, so I at least have some control of where my dog decides to run. Sooner or later, I might be able to let completely go; well maybe. There are some things, tasks God expects me to do that I should control, for my own growth, for my own good and for the good of others. And, when I do not have control but allow God the control, this is when I am learning to have faith and trust. God knows what is best and for my good. Pastor Doug Weygands, message on Wednesday night’s Thanksgiving Eve service sums this all up for me. 

“Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits…”  Psalm 103:1-2

             Monday morning, I call AAA for the third time. Got a jump, moved the car into the driveway and by Tuesday afternoon, AAA installed a new battery, ran all the tests and the motor indicator light is now off. All is well. God, YOU are in control.

Have a blessed and happy Thanksgiving!


 

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