Kassiquan

 FEBRUARY: THINKING ABOUT LOVE

On February 14, many of us will be thinking about love, Valentine’s Day.  Some of us will be browsing through Valentine’s Day cards; in local pharmacies or special card shops if open and online reading sentiments in prose that will hopefully describe exactly what we wish to say to our loved ones.  Some of us will take the opportunity to make the event a special occasion by going out to dinner while wearing our facemasks and social distancing.  Some of us will likely stay home and cook that special meal in keeping with the “stay home, stay safe” recommendation.  To make this day extra special, some of us will present an engagement ring to that special someone in our lives.  Yes, February 14 is Valentine’s Day when special attention is devoted to, “thinking about love.”

Pope Gelasius I instituted a “Feast Day” in 496 AD in memory of Saint Valentine martyred in 269 AD.  According to “church history,” we do not know much about Saint Valentine except for reports that he was a priest or bishop who ministered to persecuted Christians in the third century AD and beheaded by the Roman Emperor, Claudius II for helping Christian couples marry.  Tradition states Saint Valentine is the saint of courtly love and the patron saint of epilepsy.  By 1969, because of not knowing much about Saint Valentine, the Roman Catholic Church removed Saint Valentine’s name from the Church calendar (Wikipedia; Britannica Online).  Knowing from history about Saint Valentine and the reason we celebrate Valentine’s Day today is that we continue “thinking about love.”

Let me share a fond Valentine’s memory.  In the spring of 1978, I had the opportunity to volunteer as a “teacher’s aide” at my former elementary school, John Moffett.  My younger sister was still attending and my mother was a member of the Parent Teacher’s Association back then.  Since I was taking a break from college and not yet working, my mother recommended I volunteer which would only be for three-months.  I became a teacher’s aide for a third grade class, an experience I will forever cherish.  The teacher, whose name I cannot remember, was slender, about five foot, three inches with bobbed black hair; a beautiful woman.  The students loved her and she made a great impression on me; a great educator who loved her students.  My job was to walk around the classroom and assist the students struggling with their classwork.  Should they complete their work, the students were able to draw and color until all students finished their work.  When it was time for art, I would sit with the students and draw with them.  When the students discovered that I could draw the Flintstone characters, they would happily gather around me and wait for me to draw outlines of the characters they wanted to color, “thinking about love.”

As I mentioned earlier, I do not remember the teacher’s name nor all of the students in the third grade.  In fact, I do not even remember if there was a card given to me at the end of my three months with the class.  However, there is one student that I will never forget, Jorge Ayala.  During recess, Jorge did not play with his classmates in the schoolyard.  Jorge was just happy to hold my hand as we walked around the yard as I called out names of those running too fast or getting into arguments and shoving each other around.  Jorge would talk about things he liked to do and how liked my being in his class; I was fun to be around.  Jorge was the one who showed his classmates that I could draw the Flintstone characters, especially Dino.  One afternoon during art period, the teacher had the students make Valentine Day cards for their parents.  I enjoyed walking around observing the creative hands of the students.  When it was time to go home, the students lined up with their Valentine creations and on the way out, Jorge walked over and gave me his.  I asked why he was not taking his home to his parents.  He replied that he made it for me.  The teacher later told me that Jorge and his sister lived with their grandmother.  I opened the card and my heart melted.  In it Jorge had written, “Happy Valentine’s Day!  I love you, Mr. Rodriguez.”  I am sentimental and I do keep things but I cannot be sure if the card is in my scrapbook in storage, “thinking about love.”

That day Jorge and his sister waited outside the school building to walk home with me; they were actually walking me home.  I discovered they only lived four blocks away from where I lived.  During the last few weeks, this was the routine; Jorge and his sister would walk home with me and they would continue on to their home.  After my three months at the school, the teacher had a small party for me.  The students were very excited when the teacher presented my with a complete drawing kit, a box of pastels with art paper.  A week later, I started working.  My sister would tell me that Jorge would stop by after school at the house and ask for me.  Sadly, my sister had to tell Jorge that I was still at work and we never knew his address.  Jorge was about eight years old and today, he might be about fifty years old.  Yes, I occasionally think about Jorge, what would he be doing today, would Jorge remember those three months in 1978 and, I would ever see him again?  Jorge, I am very sorry.  I should have thought to have my sister ask for your address; would that have been appropriate?  Yes, that beautiful boy, Jorge was dear to my heart; still is.  I am “thinking about love.”

In “thinking about love,” I leave you with one of my favorite excerpts taken from the book, “Bus 9 to Paradise.”  Dr. Leo Buscaglia is one of my favorite authors who also wrote these other books ”Love,” “Living, Loving & Learning,” “Born for Love,” and “Loving Each Other.”  This Valentine’s Day, let us learn to begin loving each other.  Love should not just be a special event to celebrate on Valentine’s Day but and expression shown every day.  Jesus stated these words, “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another…Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for [their] friends” (John 13: 38 & 15:13).  It is time to be “thinking about love.”

 Leo Buscaglia writes:

 

Love, as intangible, as complex, and as personal as it is, still needs expression between those who share it.  No two people express their love in the same way, and it is that unique expression which makes love the most powerful and enduring of life’s forces.  Love is as encompassing as life itself, and when we seek to define it we sometimes end up imposing limits on it.  We can, however, attempt to describe it, and in so doing, better understand it.  One of the most beautiful descriptions I’ve ever read is from Corinthians 1, and even as well known as it is, is still well worth repeating:

 

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill mannered, or selfish, or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs: Love is not happy with evil but is happy with the truth.  Love never gives up: its faith, hope, and patience never fail.  Love is eternal…There are faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

 

So, for the question, “How do I know when I am truly loved?” there can be only partial answers that need elaboration and the special touch that each of us brings to a relationship.  Certainly, though, when we are loved, the people who love us want us to be what we are, not what they are.  They rejoice in the fact that we are growing with our ideas, our dreams, our uniqueness, our future.  They want us to be independent and free, not submissive and afraid…They are not only lovers, but friends, loyal and willing to make allowances for our imperfections.  They can be counted on for support and companionship.

 

Each of us has different requirements for how much and what kind of love we receive.  Some of us need to hear the words, “I love you,” each day, while for others; the words are contained in a look, an attitude, an unspoken communication.  No matter how love is expressed, the important thing is that it be communicated freely and often…An expression of love is the most basic of human assurances.  When it is given freely and without condition, it can only strengthen and give greater purpose to a relationship.  

            HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!