Kassiquan

FAMILY HISTORY

When I lived in Philadelphia, I was invited to be a workshop presenter at the Philadelphia Area Sunday School Association’s Annual Convention in November of 1996.  My workshop was titled, Family Systems: Ministering to today’s Families.  I facilitated this workshop three years in a row and each year the classroom would fill with participants.  My goal was to make the workshop interactive, educational and fun; a little humor that captivated the audience and encouraged participation.  The tools used were a colorful mobile (stained glass rainbows) to which I credit Edith Schafer; she mentioned this image in her writings about Family.  Handouts of charts displaying the positions and roles of each family member and their definitions.  Lastly, my favorite Biblical story in Genesis chapters 29, 35 and 37 to which we would draw on the chalkboard a genogram (Family Tree) and brainstorm together what we saw as “red flags” when working with families in trouble; we used the term “dysfunctional” in those days but I convinced the audience that all families are a bit dysfunctional; there are no perfect families.

Using a mobile in the workshop enabled the audience to visually see what happens when a family is in crisis mode.  I would call on someone to come to the front of the room, hold the mobile in up with one hand and say, “This is a family.”  I would ask the person to observe the mobile and describe the “behaviors” of each piece; examples of what is shared are listed below with my comments made after the demonstration in parentheses.

1.    Each piece looks the same (Family Identity/ Last name)

2.    Each piece hangs at a different level (Individual Identities/ First name with different personalities)

3.    The mobile seems to be balanced and yet each piece moves in a different direction (Family Bonds/ Different goals/ dreams)

I then ask the person to kindly pull on one of the pieces and to describe the behaviors of the pieces.  Observation shared would be: unbalance, chaos, not for just the one piece but all pieces are involved in the chaotic movement.

Growing up in West Kensington, most families around me did not fit the norm of the family used in the mobile example.  Yes, there are families that are integrated; step families, adoptive families, single parent families, etc.  After the mobile demonstration we turned to Genesis to observe and build a mobile together on the chalkboard Jacob’s family tree.  Take the time to read the story of Jacob.  What do you observe about his family?  Jacob’s family was not perfect, far from it.  Jacob had two wives, sisters.  Jacob had two mistresses, maids of the sisters.  Jacob and twelve sons; not all from the same mother and one, only one daughter.  In Jacob’s family you had jealousy, favoritism, competition, deceit, and vengeance.  You might find more and when you do, share them with me.

So why am I highlighting “family?”  Frist, having gone to Catholic Church when I was 13 years old, I selected my Patron Saint for Confirmation; Joseph.  Joseph was a foster father who gave his name to Jesus (Joshua Ben Joseph).  I wrote earlier last year that I enjoy working on my Family Tree.  There is a lot of history that helps me to understand my own heritage, what was passed on down to me from my ancestors.  It is interesting is to learn when my ancestors lived, who was president at the time, why and when they immigrated to the United States.  When did my ancestors die, what age and from what did they die.  What was my ancestors’ occupations, level of education and what did they own.  I do know this about my heritage; most of my maternal ancestors were a people that attended Church; Lutheran or Dutch Reformed.

Bottom line, I value family.  I do not have one of my own but I enjoy being with my family, the family with whom I grew up which includes my extended family.  They are not perfect; just look at their “mobiles;” a “soap opera” would they make.  I love them dearly; and love covers all.  Hey, I am still working on my Family Tree, my Family History.  There is so much more “treasure” to discover.  Let me drop some “family humor” your way.  Go ahead and laugh!