Grace
“What am
I thinking,” I said to myself as I got on the elevated train to meet
Dianne. It was November 1988 and I was
in the middle of working on a major paper for class at Philadelphia College of
Bible (Cairn University now). I did not
expect a call from Dianne and I was really surprised to hear her voice over the
telephone. “We need to talk,” she said
in a discouraged voice. “I’m in the
middle of finishing a paper for class tomorrow,” I said. “It’s important,” she replied. “Well, I did not have dinner, yet. Can we meet at the Burger King near you?” I knew Dianne lived near a Burger King and it
was near the elevated train stop so we made plans to meet there. I shut down my computer, grabbed my coat and
went out the door. Grace.
Dianne
and I met at a mutual friend’s wedding; we were members of the wedding
party. Dianne was a friend of the bride
and I was a friend of the groom. Both the
bride and groom attended youth group at my church. I witnessed their relationship grow and as a
wedding gift wrote them a song that was performed on their wedding day. At the reception, I noticed Dianne sitting
off to the side with her parents. There
was something different about her and like myself; she did not participate in
the dancing or mixed with the crowd.
Dianne had a story that sparked my interest. I went over to her and we held a
conversation. Dianne was nice, shared
common interests and although she did not know me well, I saw she was quite a
story to read, but one of the chapters was not available for reading. Grace. At the end of our conversation we agreed that
we would leave it to letter writing; no phone calls and no visits or dating. Dianne would let me know when she was ready;
I had to wait to read more of her story.
I respected Dianne’s decision and honored her request. Grace.
In the
months that followed we wrote; about God, about friends, common interests and a
friendship developed. I was hoping the
friendship would go further and Dianne knew this. After a while reading Dianne’s letters I sensed
a struggle, a personal struggle in which I started to read low-self-esteem,
guilt, shame and a need to for assurance that all would be fine. Grace. I did not press Dianne to share this part her
story because it was a chapter not ready.
Like a social worker and counselor I was learning to become through
studies at PCB, I wrote Dianne about forgiveness, mistakes we make in life can
be forgiven and we can experience God’s Grace
and Mercy through his forgiveness. I
believed Dianne needed to hear this at this point in her life adding it to her
story. We all need to hear encouraging
words, words of assurance and forgiveness.
We all need Grace in our
lives; God’s Grace.
“We
need to talk,” Dianne had said. Riding
on the train, I was hesitant. I was
preparing myself for a break up; in person which would have been better written
in a letter. Grace. I was thinking about
what might be said and heard while Dianne waited for me at the Burger
King. Suddenly I heard, “She just had a
baby.” No one was on the train sitting near
me. I chuckled to myself. “What am I thinking?” I tried to shake what I heard out of my mind
but again, I heard the voice. “She had a
baby.” I was not laughing. I was silent and thinking. I got off the train and walked over to Burger
King. There was Dianne sitting at a
booth along the side staring into her hot chocolate, quiet and pensive. “This does not look good. It’s good-bye.” I paid for my burger and drink and sat
opposite Dianne. She watched me eat my
burger and then started, “I have something to tell. I will understand if you choose not to pursue
a relationship after you hear what I am about to say.” Grace.
Dianne went right to the point; “I had a
baby girl two days ago.”
Dianne
opened the chapter of her story; a failed relationship; a pregnancy, feelings
of unworthiness, guilt and shame, quitting her job, leaving church and hiding
at home and all the while during those six long months, Dianne found Peace; Grace.
Dianne named her baby girl, Grace
Delia. Dianne looked at me and wondered
why I was not surprised or responding to her as she expected. I sat there quietly, and I probably wore a
smile when I said, “I know you had a baby.”
Grace. Dianne’s mouth dropped in surprise, “How did
you know?” No one knew about her
pregnancy; just her family; she stayed home and did not go out anywhere. “God told me on the train while I was on my
way here. I already knew.” Grace. Dianne was hesitant, could not believe that I
knew. “Would you like to see her,”
Dianne finally said. “I would love to,”
I smiled. Grace. Dianne looked at me
in disbelief. ‘What,” I said. “My mom told me that if you said “yes” to my
invitation to see the baby, this mean that you were not going to walk
away.” Grace.
Our
lives are not perfect. We make
mistakes. We make the wrong decisions and
we may experience the consequences for the choices we make; good or bad. I share this story because it’s a chapter
that Dianne and I both share; it’s about Grace. Dianne experienced God’s Grace at that point in her life and I witnessed God’s Grace in action. And we both saw the outcome of God’s Grace.
Dianne and I walked the path of Grace
for a while, saw the fork in the road and took different journeys. The years moved us on and by God’s Grace, connected via social media. I continue to see Grace at work; we both do. Rick
Warren states, “And you know when you’ve experienced Grace and you feel like you’ve been forgiven, you’re a lot more
forgiving of other people. You’re a lot
more gracious to others.”
Posted
with Dianne’s Permission
Grace is beautiful!
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